As has been the tradition since 2008, I had the honor of giving the morning report on July 1st for the St John Hospital and Medical Center Internal Medicine Residency Program. July one, openning day of the academic year. The conference room was crackling with the energy of fresh interns and the equally excited second years ready to run their own teams.
Giving the lecture was a lot of fun. There were a lot of insightful questions, some because the questioner is terrified and others to show how smart she is. Nobody looked sleep deprived, so the ratio of deer-in-the-headlights to asleep-at-their-desk was unnaturally high.
The lecture covered three topics:
- total body water and how to choose an IV fluid
- diuretics
- dysnatremia
There is no way I could get through the deck in the 50 minutes of time we had. It probably would take 90 minutes to cover it all. In delivering the talk I focused on the mood of starting this great adventure.
Here are some tips to using this presentation:
The first slide has Munch’s Skrik, which I explain translates as July 1st
Slide 4 has my favorite quote about kidney function. Homer Smith essentially uses 150 words to explain the point that the job of the kidneys is not to make urine anymore than the job of a factory is to make smoke.
The lungs serve to maintain the composition of the extra-cellular fluid with respect to oxygen and carbon dioxide, and with this their duty ends. The responsibility for maintaining the composition of this fluid in respect to other constituents devolves on the kidneys. It is no exaggeration to say that the composition of the body fluids is determined not by what the mouth takes in but what the kidneys keep: they are the master chemists of our internal environment. Which, so to speak, they manufacture in reverse by working it over some fifteen times a day. When among other duties, they excrete the ashes of our body fires, or remove from the blood the infinite variety of foreign substances that are constantly being absorbed from our indiscriminate gastrointestinal tracts, these excretory operations are incidental to the major task of keeping our internal environments in the ideal, balanced state.
Slides 5-9 emphasize that this topic is not a niche topic, the issues of fluids and electrolytes comes up everyday, on every patient.
Slide 11, warn everyone that the unfortunate person who gains 30 kg in this slide is a medicine resident gorging on donuts at morning report.
Slide 18, remind everyone that LR is for surgeons. Deny any knowledge of the reason for this peculiarity. Explain that this is further evidence that they are an alien species unrelated to hard working, honest IM docs.
Slide 27 Explain that the question, “Would you give a drowning man a glass of water?” was taught to me by one of the most foul-mouthed senior residents when I was an intern. I want to show that the lessons learned this year will be the stories you tell interns decades later. Interns will learn more this year than any other year of their life, except their first year of life.
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