There once a dialysis patient from Nantucket…

My son is doing a big project on the kidney. As part of that project he has to write a limerick about the kidney. The family was stumped so of course we decided to crowd source the problem:

My son has to write a kidney poem. What rhymes with dialysis?
— Joel Topf (@kidney_boy) April 18, 2013

The answer was analysis and paralysis (hat tip to @emmadalton and Leon)

But the real fun began as people sharpened there pen knives and carved new limerick’s on to the bathroom walls of twitter.

@kidney_boyThe news is sad.We’ve done a urinalysis.Your kidneys are bad.You will need dialysis.
— Skeptical Scalpel (@Skepticscalpel) April 18, 2013

@skepticscalpel @kidney_boy In retrospect, there must have been a diagnosis we missed…Meh, oh well. Let’s get you on the UNOS list.
— Michael Katz (@MGKatz036) April 18, 2013

@mgkatz036 Stop that NaClits the reason he’s not doing wellIn order to volume resuscitateThe hip new thing is Ringers Lactate
— Joel Topf (@kidney_boy) April 18, 2013

Kidneys, most of us have two.Some have one, shaped like a horse shoe.Can’t live with none,Dialysis or transplant have to be done.
— Vijay(@scanman) April 18, 2013

A man was once stung by a beeHe thought he got off scott freeBut he had rhabdomyolysisAnd now he’s forever on dialysis
— Joel Topf (@kidney_boy) April 18, 2013

Daughter noted spelling error (now instead of know)

@kidney_boy if only his doctors weren’t second rate.they couldn’t afford up-to-date.
— Michael Katz (@MGKatz036) April 18, 2013

Kidneys are shaped like a beanThey keep your blood cleanThey are the coolest organ unseenUnless you open the body and that would be mean
— Joel Topf (@kidney_boy) April 18, 2013

Daughter wrote that one.

When your kidneys failNo need to wailCause in the final analysisYou can always try dialysis
— Joel Topf (@kidney_boy) April 18, 2013

My son is pretty independent and ignored all of the bad poetry advice on Twitter and went with this original creation:

There once was a kidney named Bud
He liked to filter the blood
He got a disease
There’s pus when he pees
And now Bud is simply a dud